The
one important point to remember about registry wording in your
wedding invitation is, "Don't mention your wedding registry in
your wedding invitation!" Your wedding website, your
shower invitation, and word of mouth are the only proper places to
share this information.
Wedding
registries are a $19 billion industry. Imagine the
possibilities if those dollar bills were going straight into bank
accounts, one of them being yours! Thanks to technology, and
this fancy thing we call the internet, there are several ways to
register for cash gifts.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being practical in the 21st century. Now that couples are marrying later in life, less traditional wedding registries are becoming totally acceptable! And there are tons of unconventional registries to choose from, so your guests can help support your travels, your home, or something else you really care about. Here are some options for you:
- The Honey Fund - Honeymoon registry
- The Honeymoon - Another honeymoon registry
- Hatch My House - House (as in building or buying one) registry
- Simpleregistry.com - A cross-company registry that has a huge range of options
- zola.com - Another cross-company registry
- MoMA - Funky registry at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC
- Card Avenue - Specializes in gift cards
- Bottlenotes - As mentioned above, this is for the couple that's really into wine
- My Registry - Yet another that pulls from different companies and brands
- Seven Hopes United - From the website: "Seven Hopes United specializes in marketing stylish, handmade, fair trade and eco-friendly gifts from around the globe. Your purchase of fair trade products ensures that our artisans are paid a living wage for their work, working conditions are safe, and no children are exploited."
- Knack Registry - You can register for items, experiences and even services. Some of the items offered are not available at other retailers. A few things I've seen here range from a Kenyan safari honeymoon for around $2,000 (hey, you could have a long-lost relative who happens to be royalty!) to shower curtains for $40.
Wedding Registry Do’s and Don’ts
Do:
Set up your registry early.
“From the moment you announce your engagement, friends and family will want to send gifts,” says Karena Bullock Bailey, a New York City-based wedding and special events planner.
“From the moment you announce your engagement, friends and family will want to send gifts,” says Karena Bullock Bailey, a New York City-based wedding and special events planner.
Don’t:
Register at just one location.
Two to three is ideal. If possible, at least one of them should have a brick and mortar store in the areas where many of your guests live―just because you dig the convenience of the web doesn’t mean that Nana feels the same. “The in-store option definitely makes certain guests more comfortable,” confirms Anna Post, author of Do I Have to Wear White? (Collins, $15).
Two to three is ideal. If possible, at least one of them should have a brick and mortar store in the areas where many of your guests live―just because you dig the convenience of the web doesn’t mean that Nana feels the same. “The in-store option definitely makes certain guests more comfortable,” confirms Anna Post, author of Do I Have to Wear White? (Collins, $15).
Do:
Register for a wide range of gifts at various price points.
People prefer choosing from a large selection: If you have, say, 100 invited guests, you’ll need a minimum of 125 registry items. Registering at one kitchen store, one home goods store, and one department store should cover all the bases. “About a third of your items should be under $50, a third from $50-$150, and the rest $150 and up,” says Bailey. As for the high end? Know your audience: “For one couple, having gifts that max out at $200 would be too much―for another, it’s $1,000-plus,” says Post. “If you’re questioning whether it’s appropriate, others probably will, too.”
People prefer choosing from a large selection: If you have, say, 100 invited guests, you’ll need a minimum of 125 registry items. Registering at one kitchen store, one home goods store, and one department store should cover all the bases. “About a third of your items should be under $50, a third from $50-$150, and the rest $150 and up,” says Bailey. As for the high end? Know your audience: “For one couple, having gifts that max out at $200 would be too much―for another, it’s $1,000-plus,” says Post. “If you’re questioning whether it’s appropriate, others probably will, too.”
Don’t:
Reference your registry info on any stationery, such as your save the
date or invitation.
You can, however, include the URL for your wedding website―which should contain the details of where you’re registered―on those printed materials. “It’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone where you’re registered if they ask what kind of gift you’d like, but mentioning gifts in any way on your invitations is in very poor taste,” says Sue Fox, author of Etiquette for Dummies.
You can, however, include the URL for your wedding website―which should contain the details of where you’re registered―on those printed materials. “It’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone where you’re registered if they ask what kind of gift you’d like, but mentioning gifts in any way on your invitations is in very poor taste,” says Sue Fox, author of Etiquette for Dummies.
Do:
Request nontraditional items if they reflect you as a couple.
“I have friends who registered at REI―their list included a tent and a canoe, which was perfectly acceptable because they’re outdoor enthusiasts,” says Fox. Wine registries for budding oenophiles and honeymoon registries―where guests can, say, pay for your breakfast in bed while you’re in Fiji―are becoming increasingly popular.
“I have friends who registered at REI―their list included a tent and a canoe, which was perfectly acceptable because they’re outdoor enthusiasts,” says Fox. Wine registries for budding oenophiles and honeymoon registries―where guests can, say, pay for your breakfast in bed while you’re in Fiji―are becoming increasingly popular.
Don’t:
Eliminate all time-honored items.
There are limits: Feelings are still very mixed on items such as gadgets and electronics, which don’t fit the old-fashioned criteria as nest-building necessities. “It’s tough to justify something that will be outdated in two years,” notes Bailey. (Note: Any personal items, such as beauty products or clothing, are strictly off-limits.) To avoid ruffling any feathers, throw in at least a handful of traditional items to appease the old-school types who simply won’t be satisfied attending unless it’s with a blender in hand.
There are limits: Feelings are still very mixed on items such as gadgets and electronics, which don’t fit the old-fashioned criteria as nest-building necessities. “It’s tough to justify something that will be outdated in two years,” notes Bailey. (Note: Any personal items, such as beauty products or clothing, are strictly off-limits.) To avoid ruffling any feathers, throw in at least a handful of traditional items to appease the old-school types who simply won’t be satisfied attending unless it’s with a blender in hand.
Do:
Wait to use the presents that arrive before the wedding.
“Heaven forbid, should the event not take place for whatever reason, the rule of thumb is that all the gifts must be returned,” says Post. Lightly scratched service for twelve, anyone?
“Heaven forbid, should the event not take place for whatever reason, the rule of thumb is that all the gifts must be returned,” says Post. Lightly scratched service for twelve, anyone?
Don’t:
Ask for money outright.
If cash is what you’re after, the only polite choice is to not register anywhere and pray that your guests get the message. Family and friends―not you and your betrothed―can delicately spread the word. “They should use euphemisms for money like, “I know they would love help with a contribution toward the home they’re hoping to buy,” says Post. Just brace yourself for some unwanted salad tongs amid the checks you’ll receive.
If cash is what you’re after, the only polite choice is to not register anywhere and pray that your guests get the message. Family and friends―not you and your betrothed―can delicately spread the word. “They should use euphemisms for money like, “I know they would love help with a contribution toward the home they’re hoping to buy,” says Post. Just brace yourself for some unwanted salad tongs amid the checks you’ll receive.
Do:
Write thoughtful, prompt thank-you notes; e-mails and calls don’t
count.
Within six weeks of receiving the gift, write a note that references the specific object and how or why you will enjoy using it. Adds Fox, “Once you start receiving gifts, keep a log noting what you received, from whom, when―plus the date that you sent out the note. It’ll ensure that nothing gets overlooked.” It also makes for a handy reference tool the next time you’re scheduled to see Aunt Tilda and can’t remember if she got you the gravy boat or the juicer.
Within six weeks of receiving the gift, write a note that references the specific object and how or why you will enjoy using it. Adds Fox, “Once you start receiving gifts, keep a log noting what you received, from whom, when―plus the date that you sent out the note. It’ll ensure that nothing gets overlooked.” It also makes for a handy reference tool the next time you’re scheduled to see Aunt Tilda and can’t remember if she got you the gravy boat or the juicer.
Good
luck!
P.S.
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